Next: Dolphins With Robotic Legs

I'm really not going to spoil this momentous occasion with many words of my own.
But guess what...

The time has come to purchase and own genetically fabricated organisms. Enter: the GenPet, the world's first "mass-produced, bio-engineered pet". From the site:

Say Hello to the all New Genpets™ from Bio.Genica!
The Genpets™ are Pre-Packaged, Bioengineered pets implemented today!
--
Genpets are living, breathing mammals. Bio-Genica is a Bioengineering Company that has combined, and modified existing DNA to create the Genpets lineup. Genpets have blood, bones, and muscle; they will bleed if you cut them, and die if mistreated just like any other animal. The electronic components are only in the packages and are for basic life support, outside of the packages the Genpets are wholly organic.
--
The original prototype and breeding Genpets were created using a process called "Zygote Micro Injection" Thereafter the Genpets are grown in assisted breeding lab farms.
--
While the Genpets™ hang on retail shelves they are in a chemically induced type of hibernation controlled by a protein in the packages’ nutrient supply tubes. This was a natural trait found in many seasonal animals that would normally hibernate in colder northern climates that has been added to the Genpet line. This also ensures comfort for the Genpets™ while they are on store shelves.

The Genpet currently comes in two models, a 1-year and 3-year lifespan organism. as well as six individual, color-coded personality types ranging from athletic and energetic to communicative and serene.

Interested? then i urge you to visit the hot, fiery, center of it all:


Then realize that this is all just a little too silly and sudden to be anything more than an elaborate art project. because that's what it is. it's actually an exhibit called "It's Alive! A Laboratory of Biotech Art" by sculptor Adam Brandejs. and it's been making some decent press over the last year or so. but what i want to point out here, is that there was that moment there. with you. when you first saw this post (relying on the fact that you hadn't heard of it before). i saw it, don't try and deny it now. for a brief second you believed it, and maybe you were excited... maybe you were scared or worried, or perhaps even a little angry. but regardless, you felt something. inside you somewhere. where you feel your lack of control over the universe surface.

there's something special to me about that feeling. when you notice the momentum of life and science and time and human progression. it never stops. and we never stop. and there is no catching up or slowing down.

think about that... how far off are we from this being a reality? who knows? it could be next year, it could be never. but it's always a possibility. and when the time arrives, what stance will you take?

Don't turn around. There's a Hoax Behind You...

So my roommate is off in the bahamas for a month working as a camera assistant filming sharks for television...

But i digress...

I came across a collection of infamous and unknown photoshop-doctored photos that have apparently been making rounds in popular media culture for the last five or so years. while a couple, i was already familiar with, many i hadn't seen before. alas, i found most of them a yawn, but i reasoned that the few good ones were worth the post here.




If you're interested, feel free to cruise over and check them out.

Unicorns As Lovers?

So although i had never really considered this, i stumbled across a detailed and persuasive report today at tenreasonsitwouldruletodateaunicorn.com and my eyes were opened to the endless (read: 10) possibilities one is faced with when considering a unicorn as a potential romantic partner.


The reason that sealed the deal? #6. i can't really say if it was my passionate love for both skittles and jelly beans, or my deep, brooding hatred of mosquitoes that won me over... but seriously, where can i find me a unicorn... like, now?

On a side note, i'm sorry to say that unicorns.com was somewhat underwhelming. and i had such high hopes... actually, there are some very weird things 'unicorn' out there if you go looking for them. take for example, this picture:


i'm not sure if it's the monkey-girl, the blood red unicorn eyes, the skunk-striped power-mullet, or the self-important demand scrawled out in some cheesy hallmark font, but this image really creeps me out in a not cool way. This rendering of our potential future president, however? not creepy at all...



alas, i did stumble upon this gem, and with over 27 million views, i'm surprised i hadn't heard of it before.



charlie, i must say, just became my new favorite thing 'unicorn'.


shun the nonbeliever... shuuunnnn...

Witteh Kittehs...

Ok, so before i hit the month mark of going postless, i've decided to say something to cease any panicked outbreaks that may ensue from peoples thinking i've truly fallen off the face of the earth.

Today, i'd like to share with you a site that was recommended to me by my dear friend, andrea. at first telling i ashamedly (is that a word? it is now...) wrote off the site as being probably cute, but not worth my time. big mistake. a collective 3 or 4 hours (over the course of the past week) later, i've found that this site, appropriately named i can has cheezburger has filled many the mindless minute of occupational downtime with smiles, laughter, shock, and the occasional ping of overwhelming cuteness. i'm trying to decide if giving you a description of 'i can has cheezburger' would be appropriate, and i'm rather flip-floppy about the whole thing. you see, if i were to say... it's a photo-captioning site consisting mainly of reader-submitted snapshots of cats and kittens in various entertaining poses captioned by posters in interweb leetspeek... well that may turn some people off to it, as it made me judge the whole project before i had a chance to get to know it. regardless, it's a fabulously enthralling time-sink if you're looking for one. so check it out.

here are just a few of my favorites...

Don't Forget Artax...

So there is really no true reason or motive or logic behind me posting this, other than the memory crept into my mind at some point during work today and i sought it out, only to find that years.... years after watching this movie, and even with this scene completely extracted from the context of the story, i still struggled to not burst into tears at my desk, prompting genuine concern from all nearby cubicle-dwellers.

needless to say... it's sad. and i think we should all take a moment of silence to remember and respect the friend that was artax... and also to remember that sad thoughts will only help you sink.

...and mud kills.




EDIT: Ok, i just want to note here that, yes, in the movie artax comes back, and things are apparently all smiles and good times, however, in the book (which i will pretend to have read) i know for a fact that artax never comes back, because obviously michael ende knows that real life sucks, and sh*t happens. also, artax's return was tainted with the haunting suspicion of flesh-hungry zombification or cursed demon-blood. sh*t don't just come back to life free of charge.

Venice, Anyone?

Copied over from the sanctum:
(this is a disclaimer for those who are severely irritated by being tricked into reading something they had assumed was new information, but turned out to be nothing more than a photocopied post from some other affiliated page. i know you're out there.)

The time is fastly approaching when my work will climb the stone walls of venice's hip and laidback brunch joint, the brickhouse kitchen. june nineteenth, actually. that's the date if you didn't notice the flier. you should definitely swing out to the opening if you've got nothing planned. i can guarantee good music and cool art and whatever else chance may care to throw in. and hey, if you can't make it, i'll be sad for a moment, perhaps, but i'll rest easier knowing you have a whole month to come check it out by your ownsome. excitement!

Some Alone Time...

Just came across this site, "garfield minus garfield" whilst surfing this morning. it's an edited collection of old garfield strips with garfield completely photoshopped out, leaving only bizzarre little schizophrenic vignettes with jon alone. here's the description from the site:

"Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb."

it's definitely worth checking out, i'll stick a couple examples here for your pleasure. there are plenty more at the site archives, although after ten or so pages, you start becoming a little hauntingly depressed yourself.

Albananas

So that Jessica Alba photoshoot i worked on in march finally hit the stands this month. and i have to say, i'm quite glad it did... not only because i get some hard evidence of my prop polishing skills, but i also get to stop shamefully browsing through allure at grocery stores and barnes & nobles across LA looking for any mention of Jessica Alba.

For your viewing aid (and also because i really have no care for the paranoid, fame-drunk mess that turned out to be the Albs in person) i used big red arrows to point out the important things in the shots... ie: those that i was in charge of manhandling in the photocircus. if you can't make out what they are... in boring list fashion, they were: park bench, street lamp, baby carriage, baby bottle, cane, and a bunch of other props that didn't make it to print.

so yeah, i totally bought that bottle at ralph's like 20 minutes before being in the albs's hands. imagine if the checker only knew where it were headed. also, i polished the sh*t out of the carriage. look at it shine. ooo yeah. *pats on back* thank you, thank you, no, please...

on another note, Albs was totally preggers. like... 1/2mph-duck-waddle-hands-on-lower-back-looks-like-it-may-be-twins preggers. good job photogs and photoshop wizards at keeping that unfortunate disaster obscured from the lens's eye... a hitler-stache is far more attractive.


hurrah.